Sam: wake me up when we get there. Wait, nevermind, open my eyes for me when we get there.

Me: sam, get off of me.
Sam: but your a beautiful butterfly, youre hindless.

Santa

Just in time for Christmas :D



Hannah: What's Santa getting you for Christmas?
Beto: Santa is dead. Didn't you know that already?
Hannah: Well who is that guy who comes to my house every year?
Beto: That's just a salesman.
Hannah: Oh....
Beto: I know everything about Santa, except for somethings...

Scales and Bones

Sam; I'm nothing but scales and bones! And a shirt...and pants...

Frogs

Sam: Can I have this dead squished frog for my collection?
Me: A collection of what? Dead things?
Sam: No! of things that i like! its so gross and cool and flattered (flattered = flat)

Rules

Beto: i made a house out of a cardboard box, and i'm going to sleep in it tonight.
Mom: no you aren't
Beto: My house, My rules

Beto: what year is it?
Me: 2010
Beto: aw man, AGAIN?!

Penguin Carnivals

Nikki: strap yourself in Emily
Emily: its a carnival for the penguin!

Hummingbirds

Emily: I'm sorry, I don't speak hummingbird.

Rebel/Hot Cocoa

Me: I don't want to give Rebel away.
Sam: Yeah, he cheers me up when I'm sad.
Beto: I cheer you up when you're sad, I give you hot cocoa.
Sam: Does hot cocoa lick your face?
Beto: No...
Sam: It's too hot to pet, and it doesn't bark back at you...

Enviorment

Mom:  You have to do what's right.
Sam: Yeah, and you have to care for the environment.

Peace

Mom: You can fake a lot of things, but you can't fake peace.
Beto: I fakeded peace with Emily once. I was really nice to her, and on the last day that I was nice to her I hit her in the face with a ball.

Buzz Lightyear

Beto: I dreamed I was Buzz Lightyear. I watcheded two episodes of it in my dream.

Moon cheese

Beto: What kind of cheese is the moon made out of?

Cookies

Beto: Can I have moon cookies?
Me: I'll make cookies when we get home.
Beto: No!! I want cookie made of MOON!

If only...

Beto: We can go anywhere together!
Me: Yeah!
Beto: If only we were married...
Me: O.O You can't marry me! I'm your sister!

Bras...

Sam: What is a bra? It sounds delicious!

Three wise men?

Sam: Three wise men, Three wise men! Or is it Three blind mice?

Theory

Sam: Volcanoes can kill you.
Me: Really?
Sam: Yeah! And if you  throw yourself in, then you are sacrificing yourself.
Me: How do you know that?
Sam: Why? Do you have a better theory!?

Did you hear that?

Me: Beto! Why are you crying?
Sam: Did you hear him crying?! He sounded like a pterodactyl!

Windows

Beto: I could throw Emily out the window, but I couldn't because there are rules.

He didn't even say sorry!

Beto: I remember the time a repairman stepped on my foot, and he didn't even say sorry!

Ponies

Nikki: Hi Emily!
Emily: You are one fine looking pony!

Nocturnal

Beto: Mom, are you nocturnal?

I spy...

Sam: I spy something beautiful
Me: what?
Sam: you!!
Me: Aw...I'm going to cry!
Sam: Do you want me to buy you some hankies when we get home?

I love him. :)

The quiet game...

Sam: lets play the quiet game. It starts in 3...2...1...go! Oh wait i forgot to tell you something!

Olives

Sam tried to eat an olive.......

Sam: I cant eat this! It tastes like a rotten grape!

Books

Beto: L-O-L-O-E thats the book for me!!

Belts

Beto: I'm starving.
Dad: you don't look like you're starving.
Beto: that's because i have a belt.

I am thankful for....

Mom: What are you thankful for?
Me: That I can spend time with my family
Sam: I am thankful that we can learn about God and read the Bible.
Beto: I'm thankful for myself.

Super Hero

Beto: hahah, this is the first time a super hero has ever laughed!
Mom: whos the super hero? You?
Beto: yeah!!

Moles...

Beto: why is that dot on Emily's bottom?
Mom: that's a mole...
Sam: a mullet?
Mom: no, a MOLE!
Beto: yay! Emily has a mole on her butt!

Food Lion

Sam: Food lion!! I wanna go to food lion! It has food and low prices!
Beto: yeah! Loot and low prices!

Banana

Sam: mom! I can be a banana!
Mom: um, okay...
Sam: yeah! I can act like one!

Christmas

Mom: whos birthday is on Christmas?
Beto: MINE!
Mom: no...
Beto: OUR FAMILY'S!
Mom: no...its Jesus'
Beto: oh...

It's Rated!

Sam: I want to watch shape of the moon!
Beto: NO! That's bad for Sam! Its rated.... N!
Sam: No, it's rated NR, and that means "wait for mom" and mom is right here.

Cows brains

Sam: are cows brains mushy? Is it because they didnt go to high school?

Butt.....

Beto: mom, can you survive without a butt?
mom: 0.0 why?
beto: cause i dont want to poop anymore....

Post it!!

Sam: are you gonna post that on the blog?!

Chocolate Milk

I was pouring Sam some chocolate milk when he said: oh yeah, yeah...thats the spirit!

Lego Facebook

Sam: you should go to lego facebook sissy!
Me: they dont even have a lego facebook Sam.
Sam: yeah they do! In the future

Glow guns.

Beto: When I grow up and get to be a cowboy at night. I'm gonna use a glow gun.

Shhhh! It's a Secret!

Beto: don't let anyone know my secret
Mom: ok, what secret?
Beto: you know, my secret identity, i'm a super hero
Mom: oh, that secret, don't worry i'll tell them your a rock star
Beto: mom, that's a great idea!

Super Hero

Beto: mom, you can call me super hero boy.
Mom: um, okay.....

Bowling Pin

Nikki: dont grab that! Its a beer bottle!
Beto: but its in the shape of a bowling pin!

Super Random Person!

Person: what are you?
Sam: I'm super random person because i couldnt find the other half of my flash costume.

Jesus, I pray.....

Beto: Jesus, I pray you help my brother's foot feel better, and that tomorrow I'll be cooler then my my brother. In Jesus name, Amen.

Heaven

Me: When we get to heaven we are going to see lot's of people!
Beto: Like Michael Jackson?

Cheese

Sam: I don't like cheese on my hamburger.
Me: Sam you are so picky!
Sam: You don't even know what I'm going through!

Monster

Beto: I know what this says. It says MONSTER.
Mom: That says Moses.
Beto: Oh, yeah, I was gonna say that, if i had two chances...

A Slob is....

Beto: A Slob is a person who has a bathtub, but only uses it to wash his cat...

Fish

Sam (singing): sissy, SOME MAY SAY THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA! BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE FOR MEEEEE!!!!!

Pants

Sam: oh my gosh! I didn't even notice! No wonder it's taking me so long to put on my pants, i put pants over pants!

I can remember....

Beto: I can remember the day Sam hit me with the back of a shovel
Me: That was yesterday
Beto: Oh, yeah that's what I meant

Boots

Sam: What makes this sound? Ee oh ee ohh ee?
Mom: I don't know
Sam: Someone putting on really tight cowboy boots

Nails

Sam: Ah! I broke a nail! Thats what you sound like all the time sissy.

A Date

Sam: Do you want a date with my fist?!

Bullies

Hannah: Isn't a principle someone who pounds you?
Sam: No that's a bully

Principles

Beto: I love principles!

*winks*

Sam: Can you twitch your eye like this? *winks*
Me: You mean wink?
Sam: Yeah, whatever

Powers...

Beto: When I get my powers, I'm gonna get powers like Spiderman.

Retainers..

Beto: sis, why do you wear retainers?
Sam: because her teeth will fall out if she doesn't wear them....
Me: um yeah...

Old...

Me: When you get old you lose all your hair
Beto: oh...so when i get old I'm gonna be bald like Santa Claus?

Coke

Me: I saved you some coke mom but Beto drank it.
Beto: I know, I'm ashamed of myself.

Belly Buttons and Walt Disney

Sam: Walt Disney made rollarcoasters and car rides and-
Me: Your face.
Sam: No he didn't mommy made my face, and I came out of her belly button. I love her belly button, because thats what she borned me with, and after I was borned it is her extra eye.

Childish...

Me: Sam I didn't mean to push you off the bed! I'm sorry!
Sam: Yeah sissy, sure, I 'll listen to your childish stories...

Me and Dad...

According to beto i work at build a bear workshop at night when everyone is asleep, and my dad is a former famous singer who released many albums :) haha

Out of Space

Naomi: I'm gonna be an astronaut
Beto: I'm not I'm scared to be out of space

Tell it to the Judge

Beto: I was touched by a radio-active spider, and now I have a force field.
Sam: No you don't
Beto: Tell it to the Judge!

Ironman

Sam: Mom, say Ironman
Mom: Ironman
Sam: Don't be silly men don`t iron...

Santa

Beto: I killed Santa
Me: You`re mean!
Beto: No, i killed him in the Indiana Jones game, I shot him with a arrow and his beard fell off...

Boy or Girl?

Me: is the baby a boy or a girl?
Beto: its a baby

I charge by the hour.

Beto came into my room the other day...

Beto: Can i watch you clean your room?
Me: Yeah, sure. can you take this downstairs?
Beto: I'm charging by the hour so knock yourself out.

Everybody has a Butt....

The other day I walked into Sam's room, he was sitting on the bed singing.

Sam: EVERYBODY HAS A BUTT! EVERYBODY HAS A BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT!

The "F" Word

Sam: MOM! DAD! MY SISTER IS BEING BAD SHE SAID THE "F" WORD!
Mom&Dad: WHAT?! WHAT DID SHE SAY?!
Sam: She said FACE! *GASP*
Me: BAHAHAHH!

Shake Your Groove thing...

Sam was singing "Shake your groove thing" this was his version....

Sam: SHAKE YOUR BOOB THING....SHAKE YOUR BOOB THING!

Sam was playing with legos and said: i beat my high score on this game.

Immature..

Sam: *Throws lego*
Me: Sam I'm not going to throw that lego back because im not immature like you...*Throws lego*
Sam: I thought you  weren't going to throw it back because you weren't.......whatever you said like me!!!

Monkeyz

Sam:where are all the reekus monkeys?
Me:its rehsus sam..
Sam: oh..

Sam: why are all the people saying moo?
Me: they're saying boo sam...
Sam: oh, i always thought they were saying moo..

Chocolate Doritos....

Mom: I can die now, I've had Belgian Milk Choclate Gelato.
Sam: Thats okay mom, I'll get you chocolate doritos....

John who?

Mom: CHOCOLATE! I LOVE YOUUU!!!!!!!!
Beto: John who?

It was the boys graduation tonight...
Mom: you need to get your teacher a present.
Beto: i know! You can get her underpants!!!

Beto: cats dont floss

Mom: do you want to play an intrument?
Beto:no
mom: want to play the piano?
Beto:no
mom: drums?
Beto:no, i want to play the armpit..

Santa Died?

So we had just told the story of St. Nick to the boys and telling them that Santa is n't real so that they wont go through  a traumatic experience and find out that Santa isn't real he was just based off of St. Nick when they are 10. and the following happened in Home Depot around Christmas last year..

Worker: What is Santa getting you this year?
Beto: Santa's Dead...

Beto:can i have some free?
Me: what?
Beto: same free..*points to cereal*
sam: do you mean life?

Beto's Piggy Bank

Beto is Getting his Cast off!!! The nurse is cutting open his cast with scissors

I put the penny here for "safe keeping"

Splint

Beto got his cast off and needed a splint for a week or 2 and this morning he said: i took my splint off last nite because i dont want it 2 get lost in my sleep

Shamwow

Sam saw a picture of the sham wow guy and said: why is that guy holding a peice of cheese?

Ninja Warrior

The boys & i were watching ninja warrior & they narrate in Japanese & Sam said what are they saying? me: idk. sam: you should know! You speak this language!

Fish...

Mom: Sam, tell your sisters what Beto did at soccer today.

Sam: He was just standing around like a dead fish....

Legos...

Sam was playing with legos and Beto broke them and then he said: my brother is in so much trouble! This was programmed to go to space!!!!

Darth Vader

The boys were playing lego star wars on the wii when...

 Beto said: look! Its dark (darth) varder! My father in law..

Singing......

I Love how Sam sings with me to tobyMac....

Old McDonald's

So Sam and I do piano and We got our recital pieces the other day and Sam got Old McDonald....

Sam: Mom! We need to go eat at McDonald's because thats my piano song!!

My poor little brother......he doesn't even know that old McDonald was a farmer.....he thinks hes the clown at a fast food restaurant........

P!nk...

So today i was singing Sober by P!nk and i was all like:
I'M SAFE UP HIGH NOTHING CAN TOUCH ME!
and Sam goes:
I'M CAKE I'M PIE NOTHING CAN TOUCH ME!!! POKE YOUR FACE! POKE YOUR FACE!
Me: Sam you sang two different songs with the wrong words...


I love that little Kid...

Bald Spot

Sam: i dont have any hair!
Me: whats this? *rubs hair*
sam: thats just my bald spot

Babies......

Beto: mans dont lay babies, when i get married my wife is going to lay babies out of her belly button.

Business Man..

Beto: im a business man, business mans dont need a wife

Jesus

Beto: jesus was "been trayed" (betrayed) for 30 pieces of silver

Sweat

Beto: im washing my brain when i sweat......

Destiny......

Beto: haha! The bird landed on your knee!
Me: Yeah... it did...
Beto: Your knee was the birds destiny....
Me: BAHAHHA

Typical Boy........

Beto: faith isnt my friend anymore...
Me: why?
Beto: because i was mean...
Me: then say your sorry!
Beto: NO!!!!!

Typical boy...

Abraham Lincoln

Sam: knock knock
me: whos there?
Sam: Abraham Lincoln
me:  Abraham Lincoln who?
Sam: i worked on the farm when i was a boy
Me: sam thats not a joke.....

Bees

Today beto said to naomi: did you know bees come from flowers?

Pepsi

Yesterday me and my friend naomi were getting some pepsi and sam said "did you know pepsi is a soft drink?"

Milk......

So we got some organic milk, and Beto didnt want any....

Mom: Do you want some cereal?
Beto: Yeah
Mom: *pours milk in bowl*
Beto: NOOOOOO!!! I DONT LIKE COW MILK!!!!!!!!!


My brothers..........think. that. milk. comes. from. kroger.........

Star Wars

Mom: Where do you get all your energy beto?
Beto: From Lego Star Wars....

Crabs......

Beto: Crabs are cranky because they Crab your toes.....

What to do.....

Sam: I know what to do! I just have to remember it first.....

SANTA!

Beto was eating some chicken nuggets.....

Beto: These taste like Santa Clause...
Me: YOU ATE SANTA?
Beto: No....I just tasted him....

Let's Compromise....

Beto: Sam, we will compromise....

Me: you dont even know what that means....

Beto: Yeah i do, i means you are fired.....

Sam, you are off the line........

The "S" Word

Sam: I know the "S" Word...
Me: What is it?!
Sam: Shame on you! *GASP* I SAID IT!!!!
Me: BAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHA

The Moon

Beto: Can someone turn on the moon?

Heart Attack

Sam and Me and Beto, were wrestling on the Trampoline, and I (being the retarded person that I am) jumped off the the trampoline and said "I bet Sam can't get me now cause he's not in his natural habitat!" and Beto said "YEAH! His Heart Attack"

Brownies

They boys had just finished soccer practice the other day and...........

Dad: Good soccer practice boys!!
Sam: yeah, a couple of times i got brownies
Dad: Oh, is that something the coach gives you when you do a good job?
Sam: No, Brown KNEES *points to knee*

Micheal Jackson

So the boys were at school today, and the car line changed because there was a funeral (they go to a church Pre-K) and this was the conversation that followed:

Sam: somethings going on...

Mom: yeah, they are burring someone

Beto: oh, maybe its my lito...

Mom: no lito died before this guy

Beto: maybe is Micheal Jackson.

Mom: BAHHAHAHHAHAHA

Beto: Who's Micheal Jackson?