Tell it to the Judge

Beto: I was touched by a radio-active spider, and now I have a force field.
Sam: No you don't
Beto: Tell it to the Judge!

Ironman

Sam: Mom, say Ironman
Mom: Ironman
Sam: Don't be silly men don`t iron...

Santa

Beto: I killed Santa
Me: You`re mean!
Beto: No, i killed him in the Indiana Jones game, I shot him with a arrow and his beard fell off...

Boy or Girl?

Me: is the baby a boy or a girl?
Beto: its a baby

I charge by the hour.

Beto came into my room the other day...

Beto: Can i watch you clean your room?
Me: Yeah, sure. can you take this downstairs?
Beto: I'm charging by the hour so knock yourself out.

Everybody has a Butt....

The other day I walked into Sam's room, he was sitting on the bed singing.

Sam: EVERYBODY HAS A BUTT! EVERYBODY HAS A BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT!